Ben talks about his grandmother, aka Bubbe, all the time, via his “scripting.” He recites (scripts) the names of people that are, or have been, important to him, and Bubbe is at the top of his list, even though he rarely sees her these days.
But frequency of contact doesn’t mean anything to Ben. Once you’re in Ben’s mental Rolodex of favorite people, you’re in. Forever. Like, “Anne is coming,” and he hasn’t seen Anne, one of the people who worked with him, for at least 15 years, since he moved out. Heck, Ben still scripts people from preschool.
Ben even made up a song about Bubbe when he was little:
Ah la la la Bubbe;
Ah la la la Big Bird;
Hef! Hef!
(We still don’t know the meaning of Hef! Hef!, but you know how it is with artists.)
But you would never know how he feels about Bubbe when Ben actually sees her. Basically, he ignores her. But that’s autism for you. Usually, when we see someone he likes or loves, even his brother Jake, whom he rarely sees but absolutely adores, Ben doesn’t give them the time of day (unless we prompt him to). But later, when we’re driving around, he’ll be scripting their names like crazy.
So Ben obviously knows Bubbe’s here, and he loves it, but the niceties of social interaction are meaningless to him.
But Ben also knows what it means to have his picture taken. A fashion model ain’t got nuthin’ on him. Whenever he sees me or Karen point the lens his way, Ben immediately says, “Say Cheese!” and tosses us a grin (for an instant). So when we “force” him to sit with Bubbe (“Hey Ben, let’s take a picture of you and Bubbe!”), it is pretty obvious how he feels about her.
And here’s the autism teachable moment — the outtakes! The split second when Ben said “Cheese” was the keeper (above), but these capture the other five seconds. With Ben, ya gotta be quick.
Oh, and of course, 24/7, if there’s Ben, there’s a book. And I just noticed that Elmo’s color matches Ben’s shirt. Hmmm…
