Hey kids! Want to make your parents feel old? Try turning 25. That’ll do it. The “kids” are half-way to a Half-Century! Wow.
My nephew Steve said, “That is the most depressing way of describing 25 (maybe life’s best age?) I have ever heard.”
Yeah, and your kids are still kids. Just wait, Stevie!
Yep, time flies, whether you’re having fun or not. Twenty five years, lots of fun, and lots of “or not,” the latter thanks mostly to the tragedy of severe autism.
Sitting with Ben on the floor the day I realized he was autistic, 23 years ago, I knew that any thoughts, plans, hopes, dreams — for him and for us — had just flown out the window, replaced by a black hole of uncertainty. The entire future for the family suddenly became a big “unknown.” Ben’s future, especially. Profoundly unknown.
Sure, it’s really an unknown for everybody. “Life is what happens when you’re making other plans,” so the popular truism goes — because it’s true.
But for many parents like us, the “making other plans” part is what evaporates, beyond planning to do whatever you have to in order to deal with autism and everything that comes with it. And those aren’t other plans. They become the only plans.
And boy was I right. Talk about other plans. Here we are today, dual citizens of two states, the plan being moving our primary home base from Chicago to Cleveland in the not-too-distant future. Hey, who doesn’t hope, dream, and plan to retire to Cleveland? (Actually, I’ve discovered it’s a great area, for which we’re lucky.)
Anyway, this ain’t about Mom and Dad, it’s about the big Benny birthday boy. One advantage of having two parents is, when one of the twins lives in Chicago and the other in Cleveland, there’s coverage! This year, Karen partied with Jake while I went eastward.
Here’s what it looked like.
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Karen and fellow twin birthday boy (er, birthday man) Jake joined Ben and me via the miracle of photography
(and later on, Skype).
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Ask Ben what his favorite flavor is and the answer will be quick and definitive – and no, not chocolate, vanilla or strawberry. Ben’s favorite flavor is:
“PINK!”
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Ben began his second quarter-century with his favorite food in the world awaiting him in the car: Cookies. Specifically, frosted cookies from Luna Bakery.
Pink, of course.
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Cookies devoured, Ben’s birthday continues with his favorite not-eating activity: a “drive fast.”
Ben’s a man of the open road.
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A few sights from our drive that Ben might’ve enjoyed, or at least maybe noticed, or maybe could’ve cared less about…
A picturesque cloud poses for its portrait.
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I-80 over Cuyahoga Valley National Park, a mere 25 minutes from Ben’s front door.
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In between drives, Ben takes a hike and crosses a bridge in the South Chagrin Reservation, one of Cleveland’s Metroparks.
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“Ben, look up, aren’t the trees pretty?” Maybe he thought so, maybe he thought they’d be prettier if pink.
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Back to the apartment…
We now know Banana Bread can be added to the slowly-growing list of “Things Ben will eat,” and it even contains genuwine fruit! Karen made it thanks to a fruit/veggie guy (one of many) at Cleveland’s renowned (for good reason) West Side Market. He begged me to take practically a bushel of over-ripe yet still-green bananas off his hands for basically nothing (half a buck). “The weather messed them up,” he said with a thick Italian accent, “and they never turned yellow and now they’re about to rot. Great for banana bread!” Actually, I had a couple and they weren’t bad — but over-ripe is how I like my bananas.
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Ben requested McDonald’s for lunch. Just before paying at the drive-through window, he said, “Go to Wendy’s.” No Ben, you asked for McDonald’s. You can have Wendy’s next time. “Go to Wendy’s,” he repeated. This is nothing unusual, and he doesn’t mean “instead,” he means “too.” It never works, but Ben is nothing if not persistent, in the extreme. He would’ve made a great salesman. But this one time, I thought, what the heck, it’s his birthday. So I surreptitiously removed the McDonald’s burger from the bag (leaving the filet-o-fish, fries and juice box), shoved it under my seat, and said, “OK Ben, this one time for your birthday we can get Wendy’s too.” I’m guessing he couldn’t believe his eyes when we drove 100 yards down the street to Wendy’s. Probably his favorite birthday present ever – no, a peak life experience.
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Ben heads into the apartment with bags of manna from his two fast food Valhallas.
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The final french fry. Nirvana achieved.
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Ben likes tasks and never complains when given a job to do. When we have a garbage bag to take to the trash chute, Ben is “The Garbageman.” When it’s time to go to the mail-room, he becomes “The Mailman.” And on his birthday, after tearing open his presents and devouring his McDonald’s AND Wendy’s and scattering gift and food wrappings, Ben becomes “The Cleanup Man.” Attention any janitorial services currently hiring.
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The video playing is Richard Scarry’s Best Counting Video Ever. This is the scene that inspired Ben’s juggling technique of spontaneously flinging something into the air, whether outside, or in a room, or a car, or, well, anywhere. Ben’s excited delight is showing via fingers-to-face, as Bananas Gorilla slips and falls and “juggles” his stack of books, as interpreted by his friend, Lowly Worm. And who are we to second guess Lowly Worm?
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The big day wrapped up with Ben sharing his tasty birthday wealth with his housemates, though he might not agree that sharing really should involve anything more than letting people admire the beauty of his cake.
It is, after all, pink.
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