With the exception of his cohorts, I believe Ben is the only 25 year old male who has never, ever, not one single time, Googled any porn (and puh-lease don’t raise your hand to deny it — you’re either fibbing or I’ll worry about you). But, he does have his own alternatives.
Riding in the back seat with Karen recently, Ben took her cell phone, pulled up the Google app, and proceeded to type something. Karen leaned over to see what pictures he wanted to see. Primo Ben-porn filled the screen:
“pigs”
…as delightful to Ben’s gaze as Stormy Daniels is to millions of others’ (ok, mine).
He also loves monkeys, as a couple of toddlers discovered.
Some friends came by with their 1 and 2 year olds, and we had a few presents for the kiddies — the little guy just had his first birthday, but it is bad form to give a one-year-old a present but not his 2-year-old sister even if it’s not her birthday too.
She unwrapped a book to reveal Five Little Monkeys Jumping On The Bed, which is also one that the big Benny boy loves.
He also loves little kids, so he was courteous in the gentle manner in which he filched the book from her hands. When it comes to things he likes, Ben’s philosophy is: What’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is mine.
But then he did something that floored me.
Ben, without any prompting, handed her one of his books in return.
That kind of social, thoughtful, and reciprocal (and in this case, literal) give-and-take is nothing short of astounding for those with severe autism. For Ben to exercise something that comes under the umbrella of “Theory of Mind” (the ability to attribute things like emotions and desires to others), the lack of which is a hallmark of autism, gave me goosebumps.
And the flabergasting continued when Ben got another of his books and gave it to her brother, reminding me that Pervasive Developmental Delay (a clinical term for autism) is not Pervasive Developmental Cessation, and that Ben’s not done yet. Far from it.
But, however, we ARE talking about Ben. While she got to keep her book, he changed his mind about her brother’s. Luckily, he didn’t seem phased when Ben repossessed it. He’s a mellow one-year-old. But really, Ben hadn’t taken anything of his, so I guess he figured he didn’t owe him. Hard to argue.
Ben giving up a book is no small thing. He love them, collects them, and gives much thought to which one he wants to carry with him, which he does at all times, 24/7.
And this weekend, we made that selection process easier. The bookcase we’d provided when he moved into his group home was short, and he ended up sitting on the floor when browsing and searching.
But now, he has one to match his 6’1” gaze, and it’s also next to his bed, so he can sit when looking at the middle shelves.
It might seem like a little thing, but it’s not when you’re a big guy.
(And thank you Valissa for the pic!)